An Actual Larry David Sandwich

Curb Your Enthusiasm is… an acquired taste, I think. I find it funny in bits and pieces, but overall, I don’t watch much of it. Something about watching a guy make an ass of himself repeatedly over petty bullshit… it’s funny for a while, but it gets me down. Maybe it strikes too close to home. Regardless, I was interested enough in the Larry David Sandwich we were to cover this month to keep it on our List, even though it was removed from the Wikipedia list that our own List is based on just last month, right before its turn came up.

You’ll find sandwiches called the Larry David sporadically on menus around the country. They might contain pastrami and Swiss cheese, or a lentil-and-rice burger. Some of them even get close to the item described on the show, like this Nova and whitefish combo.

Maybe Larry prefers it that way. In the show, he wasn’t fond of the sandwich that was named after him at his favorite deli. Ted Danson got turkey, coleslaw, and Russian dressing for his sandwich. How about Larry?

Whitefish. Sable. Cream Cheese. Capers. Onions.

I’ve only found one other instance of someone trying to make one of these (it’s been 10 years since the show aired–maybe this should have told me something), and he couldn’t find any actual sable to work with. I must admit, I had no idea what sable was myself. But if you want to learn about Jewish deli food, you go to a Jewish deli.

Kaufman’s is an old-school Kosher deli with modern look, occasioned by rebuilding after a fire 5 or so years ago. Google told me this was my best bet for both whitefish and sable within driving distance. It turns out that sable is made from chunks of Alaskan black cod, dusted with paprika and smoked. It’s a fatty, oily fish, separating into distinct lobes of muscle, firm yet smooth.

Whitefish at Kaufman’s is sold either by the whole or half fish. I asked for a half and was asked in turn, “Head half or tail?” I chose the head half so I could have someone to commiserate with as I made this sandwich.

The bread for a Larry David sandwich is less clear. Looking at the sandwich menu at Kaufman’s, the bread choices are dizzying. “Rye, Pumpernickel, Corn Rye, White, Wheat, Chale, Marble Rye, Kaiser, Onion or Egg Roll, French Onion Roll, Bagel.” The cream cheese certainly suggests bagel, but I’m not sure. During the only depiction of the sandwich in the actual show, it was shown clutched in the hand of Larry’s father. The bread is unclear. It could be a bagel. But it could be regular bread. Hard to tell.

I brought home a loaf of square Challah from Kaufman’s, as well as a couple of onion rolls (and $50 worth of fish. Wow.) As an afterthought, I stopped by a grocery on the way home and picked up a loaf of rye as well.

For some reason, I neglected bagels entirely, though the cream cheese aspect of the sandwich obviously cries out for a bagel. I have no excuses, but I’ll be honest, spoiler alert I’m really looking forward to traveling to NYC next month to try bagels and lox, and I didn’t want the Larry David to steal Lox’s thunder.

Maybe that’s why I was so focused on the onion rolls though. They were not what I expected at all, but they looked delicious and semi-bagely, and I figured they’d work just as well in this context.

It’s a soft, pillowy roll, with a depression in the middle that’s filled with cooked onion and a firm cornmeal dusting on the bottom. I guess I was thinking it would be more like a Kaiser roll with some cooked onions in the dough. I don’t know where I got that impression. I sliced it open and spread cream cheese on both the bottom and (carefully, to avoid losing the onions) the top halves. I added capers and onions to the bottom half.

Then I piled on the sable and whitefish.

It was a pretty sandwich.

It was not a tasty sandwich. There was too much bread and not enough flavor, despite the best efforts of the capers. Their briny little bursts were the best part of the sandwich. I liked the whitefish and sable individually, but this combination just didn’t work.

After splitting half this sandwich with my wife, I honestly did not want to try again. I attempted to get our 10 year old to eat some of it.

“What’s on it?” he asked.

“Whitefish. Sable.” I replied. “….cream cheese…..   capers……… onion.”

I didn’t see him again the rest of the day. To be fair, though, I don’t think he’d have eaten a Ted Danson either.

Another Try

I decided to give it one more shot with the rye bread.

This time, I would take the strengths of the previous sandwich and play them up. So I doubled the capers.

I only put the onions on the bottom half though.

This time I remembered to get a glamor shot of both the sable and the whitefish.

Then I put it all together and… it didn’t look quite as pretty.

The thing is though… this was a much better sandwich. The ratio of bread to filling was much better, allowing the flavors of the fish to stand out a little more, the onion was in perfect proportion, and there was a little caper in every bite.

The smoked whitefish is much different in texture than the sable, softer, flakier, wetter, less oily. There’s a contrast there if you’re willing to spend the time looking for it.

I’m not, though. I’ve got a loaf of Challah that’ll be great for French toast. I’ll find a use for the sable (spicy smoked fish dip perhaps) and the whitefish (heck, whitefish salad, why not?), otherwise I’d be wasting $45 worth of very nice fish. Rye bread and capers will always find a use around here.

The Larry David sandwich is… an acquired taste, much like Larry David himself. I doubt the chances of me eating another one any time soon are any greater than me binge-watching Curb Your Enthusiasm (though my wife is a fan, and has suggested some other episodes I might like better. We’ll see.) Still, I’m glad I was able to try it, if for no other reason than to keep any of the rest of you out there from attempting it yourself.