Hamburger With the Lot
So, I grew up here. In Australia. In Canberra, specifically. Many things have changed in my city in the last 47 years. Australian cities are typically divided up into suburbs, each with their own official name. Especially in Canberra this is interesting, because each suburb has its own little set of shops, consisting of a supermarket, a newsagent, a chemist, maybe a hairdresser or a laundromat, and almost always, a milk bar or greasy takeaway. As that article suggests, the milk bar was the domain of new arrivals to Australia. From the 30s to the 50s we had a massive migration intake – refugees from war in Europe, others just looking for a better life. In the Monaro region (where Canberra lies) a large number of migrants arrived from western Europe to work on the Snowy Mountains Scheme. A lot of these migrants ended up in Canberra, or other small towns, running milk bars.The disappearance of the corner milk bar, or greasy takeaway is one thing that has changed in a lot of suburbs. The arrival of migrants from South East Asia, specifically Vietnam, in the 70s means that the local shops now often have a small asian restaurant and they have slowly replaced the milk bars. More recent arrivals from the middle east; Turkey and Lebanon, have also moved in to the takeaway food business. As a result, the local greasy is becoming a thing of the past, and the even more recent trend towards healthy food had fuelled that even more. The one at Ainslie shops is known as Theo’s, although that name is no longer displayed, in favour of the blander Ainslie Takeaway. It’s been there for as long as I can remember, and people drive in to buy its greasy deliciousness from far and wide.
Ainslie Shops, featuring the establishment formerly known as Theo’s
The usual menu of a milk-bar consists of: fish and chips (fillets of fish, often flathead or shark, also known as flake, and you’ll notice that Canberra THE NATION’S CAPITAL is absent from this list, don’t worry, we’re used to it); other deep-fried items such as potato scallops, dim sims and Chiko rolls; cold sandwiches; burgers; and thin crust pizzas (If you clicked that link, and you’re wondering, Narre Warren is a suburb on the edge of Melbourne. Totally the location for a standard milk bar). Theo’s offers all of these.
Theo’s menu, or part thereof
That brings us to this month’s sandwich; the hamburger. As you might expect, we do our hamburgers differently here. The most obvious difference, is that like in Jim’s post before, the burger is flattened on the frying plate. The other immediate difference is that it comes with salad by default. Shredded lettuce, thick slices of tomato, and slices of tinned (sorry, canned) beetroot. Served with sauce, either tomato, or barbeque. There are a number of extras that you can add: cheese; fried egg; bacon… or you can go the whole hog (see what I did there?) and get the HAMBURGER WITH THE LOT 🙂 I mean, if you’re going to eat something as unhealthy as a burger from the local greasy, you may as well really go for it, right? Like Jim, I’m trying to eat less, and more healthy food, I’m a weight watchers member, and so I have a daily food budget. The hamburger with the lot didn’t even register, but I reckon it represented at least 2/3 of my daily points allowance. Because I’m a dedicated tribunal member, I took one for the team and ate that bastard. And it was delicious.
Friday mornings for me are busy. I drive my older son to school, and then I go to the gym. I do some intervals, a yoga class, and a boxing class. Then I have an hour and I have to go to work. That left me just enough time to drive to Ainslie, buy and eat a burger. Excellent. And less than a week left to the month. Let me say also that the burger with the lot is entrenched in my psyche, my best friend worked in the milk bar close to our school through our teens, I spent a lot of time there. That place is now closed, replaced by a Lebanese takeaway, so Ainslie is the closest remaining one. Saying the words “burger with the lot, bbq sauce please” gave me great pleasure.
I sat at one of the three indoor tables. Another thing about Aussie milk bars, is that they are pretty firmly takeaway only. They might have a table or two, ostensibly for sitting at while you wait, or a couple outside, but the idea is that you get your food and you fuck off somewhere else to eat it. In the spirit of this, when my burger was ready, I grabbed it, and a Coke (I wasn’t game to order a milkshake as well, which would be the traditional accompaniment) and headed outside. I bought a copy of The Big Issue from Doug, who sells outside the Ainslie IGA most days, and walked back towards my car. Late August, and it’s pretty springlike, so I sat on a bench in the park behind the shops.
park bench, sun, delicious terrible food.
My only disappointment (and only slight) was that the bun didn’t have sesame seeds on it, it seemed to be some slightly wanky farmhouse bread, but given that Theo’s is next to Brumby’s bakery, I’ll cut them some slack. I’m not sure that it was the low GI bun, but it was still pretty good, and fried for a moment on the plate in all the fat from the bacon, the patty and the bottle of canola that they keep on the grill at Theo’s.
The reveal, out of the bag
Theo’s burgers are otherwise perfect, exactly what I was hoping for. Here’s a verbal picture:
Bread roll top
Sauce (applied to the bread before assembly)
Onion (fried on the plate next to the burger)
Bacon (fried on the plate next to the burger)
Cheese (placed on the pineapple after it’s turned)
Pineapple (fried on the plate next to the burger)
Egg (fried on the plate next to all the other stuff)
Beetroot (assembled on the bottom piece of the roll)
Tomato
Lettuce
Bread roll bottom
And for those of you who like to see a picture of half eaten food (I was sitting on a park bench, cut me some slack, I didn’t have a knife to cut it neatly.
Burger in situ
This thing is satisfyingly large. Once you’ve eaten it, you know about it for the rest of the day, which is good, considering my food budget. There’s something that really works about it. When I was a vegetarian, I used to order a “hamburger with the lot, no meat” and it was still great. The pineapple and beetroot provide a sweet and sour tang, the bacon, cheese and patty bring the salt and umami. The thinness of the patty means that it’s not overwhelmingly meaty, and it just becomes one of the players rather than the star.
When I decided to get healthy and lose weight, hamburgers (with the lot, why would you do anything else?) were one of the things I really didn’t want to give up, and fortunately, I don’t have to, I just can’t eat them every day, or eat much else that day.
I’m a mother of two boys. I work selling organic produce to gullible locals, and in my spare time I run as far as I can. Oh, and I live in Australia, married to a US citizen.
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